Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
