At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I will pee on everything he values.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Everyone says I win the strip club
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
