Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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