how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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