I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
