Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sext me about skeletons
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
