last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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