Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
