so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
being pregnant is like rehab
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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