i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
