Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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