All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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