Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The adults are the big ones right?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
