i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
