some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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