I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize