Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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