just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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