...so i touched it.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
