BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
