I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
