Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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