Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish you could order shots online.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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