covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
