I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
