You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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