all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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