I wannas sexs uuuuu
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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