Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
