I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
