oh god the rape fog is back!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
