Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
