8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
