So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
