Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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