well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize