Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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