What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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