is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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