I feel great
I just peed on a car
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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