Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
