Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
