we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
