Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
