woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
