Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
