Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
