My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
