no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it glows. i had to have it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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