yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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