I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
