I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The best revenge is premature balding
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
