Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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