John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize