Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
