If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
