How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
