So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
