I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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