Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am spending my child support on dildos
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
