take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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