I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
